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February 4th, 2007 - Nick's Valve [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Nick Verne

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February 4th, 2007

(no subject) [Feb. 4th, 2007|11:34 am]
Nick Verne
More updatery. I'm still fairly overloaded with newness at work. Things have improved somewhat - I can navigate my own building without taking wrong turns every time, I'm getting better at navigating the information that's pouring on me constantly. Next week I have no training sessions so I'm hoping to do the equivalent of "reading ahead". Food has been pretty stellar - I must resist the temptation to overportion. Transport is still an issue. I tried to form a carpool with a local guy, but he likes to leave for work at 6:30 a.m. and that just does not fempute.

I want very much to be in Sydney for my school reunion. I'm probably putting too much emphasis on this, but it has been a focal point for me in the last eight months ever since being e-mailed by the organiser. Thinking hard about it, I'm not sure what it is I hope it will give me. I wasn't the happiest kid in school, nor was I popular. I got shit for: being short; suspected gayness (correctly, although I dealt pretty well with that); lack of coordination in sports; nerdiness in class (especially being "ahead" in music). Mostly I was lacking in genuine school friends as I spent most of my spare time visiting my Dad at his office after school or at his place on weekends. Social development waited until after he died suddenly from a heart attack when I was in year 10, and then it was slow and painful. I hung out with a small clique of other outcasts whom I learnt to care about and with whom I navigated my way through to year 12 and the HSC, with steadily improving academic perfomance. (That was something that had fallen away alarmingly after Buni died in 1981 when I was in sixth grade, and I felt like I had no reason to strive any more).

University was a chance to begin again socially, and I seized it, coming out in the process. The imago emerged from the pupa (ugh, cliche). But that was all after school. So, what will a school reunion give me? The chance to display my mature form? The chance to become friends with the people I felt so distant from? Maybe. Getting there is the problem. It's quite soon (one month away, in fact) and I need to get organized now.
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